Forgiveness

This subject is a crucial part of my healing process from all of the trauma I have experienced at the hands of others. I know it's a controversial subject at best for those who have experienced abuse yet it's something that I need to bring to the forefront. I have found that if you cannot forgive others for their transgressions you cannot forgive yourself either for your own, because let's face it none of us are perfect. We are all flawed human beings and we need to lean on God everyday for direction, purpose, and to be a beacon of love and light. If you hold onto hate for anyone, you are being poisoned and therefore cannot be an instrument of healing.... and if that is not your goal at the very least save yourself and your own mental health.

I need to say that Forgiveness doesn't mean that you continue to put up with abuse. It just means that... and I am praying now for God to lead my writing hand, because I don't even know where I am going with this, as I have to pray every day for my loved ones and yes, even my enemies. I pray if nothing else for God to help heal them just as he is healing me. I pray daily for protection, peace, and discernment.

I am listening to the birds outside my bedroom window as I write into the light of day. I have listened for the word of God through my Christian music from Hillsong worship, have sung my favorite rock songs too, then decided to come to the page in the hope of shedding some light into this subject of Forgiveness.

It is "Creative Day Saturday" and it is a deep subject, but I have learned something about myself. I love depth and that I am not a shallow person. I love who I am because I do pray for lofty ideals such as "world peace" and I do still believe in the humanity and kindnesses of family and strangers. It does not mean that I am going to turn a blind eye to abuse if I see it. I will not be a part of that sickness. I pray that God will continue to lead me through the valley of the shadow of death to get to the winking sun. I continue to write my books and continue to write my memoir.

I will continue to "live out loud" and do the best every day that I can to be the best that I can be as a human being. I pray for forgiveness in the areas where I may have fallen short.

This is my message to my children. Do the best that you can and always advocate for yourself and pray to God daily for his protection and strength. You are never alone and don't have to live in fear as long as you know that you are loved and blessed all of the time. Do stick up for yourself and don't let anyone bully you or make you feel like a victim. If you cannot handle something alone don't be afraid to reach out for help.

This is a message for myself: I am nobody's victim. I am a survivor which means that I am always living, loving, and learning. Don't ever be afraid of writing the truth no matter what. I am a writer and need to tell my story to heal and to inspire for this is my calling. I don't know what opportunity my calling may lead me but I know that God has a plan for me. I trust in my guidance, my knowledge, and my expertise.

Thanks be to God for directing my writing hand as he does always. Thanks to Jesus for the gift he's given us for eternal love and life. Thanks for the power of the Holy Spirit which never ceases to amaze me. Amen.