I recently started corresponding with my sister, Leslie, who I cut out of my life for God and she only knows for how long, because of my PTSD. I’ve went through long periods of time cutting out family members before in the interest of my own health and wellness. I was doing the best I could to take care of me and not have to sacrifice myself any longer for the interest of saving them. In Haunting Lucidity, I wrote the poem “Pieces of You” and it talks about the power there is in reconciliation and freeing up anger and hate. Once wanting my own parents dead, decades later, I wanted to see them dance, instead. I wanted to love them again. The same sentiment here is with my sister, Leslie, who I apologized to that it took me so long to reach the point of being able to let her back into my life. She gave me a real gift by responding in love and saying that it was okay, because I was just taking care of myself the only way I could at the time. Thank you, Leslie, for your love, mercy, and grace. I am sorry for the pain that it cost.
We’ve been talking and we private message each other live on the internet every early morning to study, to offer hope, and to reconnect. Speaking with her and spending an hour or so every morning with her is opening up my passion for writing like never before! Another interesting thing is happening the flood gates of positive memories are opening for me, quite the opposite of what I feared might happen if I talked to her again. We have always had what she describes as “a divine connection” so opening up to her for me is like unleashing all of this good energy and positive memory! Who knew Leslie would be exactly the inspiration I needed to begin again on my memoir! My dreams and passion to be an author is only growing stronger because she is taking time to listen to my most private pages. Julia Cameron always advised not to share your “morning pages” but I find that sharing them out loud is exactly what I need to wake up and start living out loud again! Leslie shares my love for writing and my love for the divine. Watch out world, because I am close to all of my sisters now so there is no telling what energy this is going to unleash. After all, “Nobody can stop us from singing our song!” (My poem “Our Song”)
I feel so alive, awake, and feel like I have a new lease on life. I am going through yet another healing. God is good all of the time.
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